Behind Closed Doors
by struckbylightening
Summary: Everyone has secrets. But some will work harder than others at keeping them that way.' Hopfully a series of one shots, with a running theme about which I am crazily passionate.
1. Kelly

A/N: Hi all. I've been having a terrible couple of weeks, so came home today and decided to write. However, in this mood, I ended up writing something a little too close to the heart to go without some explanation. **Oh and before I forget, there are references to mental illness and self harm within this. **If you don't like it, please don't read it.

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FEEL FREE TO SKIP

**MOST OF THIS**

_Teenage depression is not simply something to be laughed at, or dismissed as, 'it's just hormones' as many parents, doctors and other professionals do. I'm not talking about the casual 'I'm so depressed' comments that so of us throw into our everyday conversations (I, myself, am included in that number). Depression will affect 20% of teenagers before they reach adulthood and 5% will suffer from serious depression. __Episodes of teen depression generally last about 8 months and more girls repot suffering from depression than boys, though it is considered that the genders are hit equally. 15 percent of teens with depression eventually develop bipolar disorder and, many teenagers with depression who do not seek help will have to live with the consequences for the rest of their lives._

_Finally; Suicide is the third leading cause of death among teens, though many do not recognize suicide as a serious threat to a teenager's well being. Depression is the single biggest contributing factor towards anyone wanting or trying to commit suicide._

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Thank you for bearing with me. Now for what you (hopefully) clicked on the link for.

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No one ever went into the study room. Kelly Jones knew that full well seeing as it was the Headgirl's duty to 'survey all of the communal rooms and ensure that no inappropriate behaviour was taking place.' This of course, was a surprisingly easy job… The room itself was small and somewhat dank, the chairs moth-eaten and the tables covered in some sort of hardened gunk covered with a fine film of dust, presumably left over from a long ago experiment.

Either way, examining the furniture was certainly not the port of call for Kelly. Pulling a table away from the wall so that she could crawl under, she turned around, scared that someone might have noticed her disappearance. She couldn't have anyone see her go, anyone know what she did. Sliding down to the linoleum floor, she crawled uncaringly underneath the table; pulling chairs from nearly tables to use as a barricade should anyone come into the room, unlikely as that was. Privacy was so hard to come by in a school like this. With her fortress built, the girl curled up into a ball, resting her head on her knees. Within seconds torrents of tears ran down her cheeks dripping from her face into tiny puddles on the floor.

In Kelly's opinion there were in essence two types of tears. The one's that you cry when there are people around, the ones with the huge choking sobs when you lose control of your emotions for a few moments or a few hours; that if you cry for too long you will undoubtedly be sick. The second are the tears that you cry in private, the silent ones that fall from your eyes like rain from the sky; the ones of pure uncontrolled sadness, and by God if you could control them, you deserved an Olympic medal at the least.

She'd never been prone to type one. But type two was another matter.

The last few weeks had become a cycle. Wake up, put on her coping face, get on with life and when she could, slip away from it all into the room where nobody could see the tears, nobody could feel her pain… of course. Life went on and that smile, the one that everyone complimented and told her how lucky she was to own, was pulled tightly over her face, a mask for her emotions. _All a façade._ That was how she had to act, that was who she had to be for the good of everyone else; and for herself. It wouldn't do to have the head girl of St Trinian's school collapse in tears every couple of hours, would it?

Half an hour later and she was spent. Her face was blotchy scarlet in patches with a startling white outer pattern and streaks of black eye makeup from her forehead to her chin, her eyes; rimmed with crimson circles, not unlike her trademark lipstick which had long been wiped from perfectly formed lips. Pulling a compact from her bag, she then began the hunt for face wipes. She didn't want to see what she looked like. If she did it quickly then she could as good as pretend that nothing had happened. No one had seen, so no one had to know. Wiping her face clean, she began she began to reapply the mask she wore around the school _without_ examining her face. Face first, applying the creamy white that hid almost every tear track. Next, her eyes; deep black for the rims and grey for the lids. She almost looked normal. Finally her lips; painted in a deep scarlet blush that drew everyone's eyes to her lips. And that was it, she was back. It was as though the events of the past half an hour had never taken place.

Pulling herself out of the furniture fortress, she made her way to the door smoothing the jet black bob as she did. Putting a pale appendage on the door handle, she paused pulling one of the famous 'Kelly Smiles' as though an invisible audience was watching, before sweeping through the door, to the sight of the twins running rampant at the other end of the corridor.

"Girls, tuck your shirts in, won't you?"

It was time to get back to normal life


	2. The First Year's

A/N: Another Day, another Emotion, another Chapter. Yay. It's still along the same lines only a slightly different idea. I'm really hoping it works... However, first, I'm going to put a brief bit of explanation about the last chapter here…

_Often it is those people who seem incredibly happy or upbeat around family, friends and peers who are harboring the deepest feelings of depression or worthlessness. These are often the most dangerous cases as they are so difficult for those around to recognise or diagnose. Many of these people also experience denial, refusing to admit if they are diagnosed that they have any sort of problem._

**But anyway. Today's chapter…**

_Teens go through phases which can be categorized as "growing pains" and are often taken lightly. This can be a tragic mistake if persistent symptoms of depression are ignored. Symptoms of depression in teens may vary. It can be a combination of hopelessness, feelings of being helpless, guilt, fear, **anger**, anxiety, despair and an increased loss of interest in pleasure, grief or pain._

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"Get the fuck out of my way." The girl hollered at the first years that had caused the blockage in the corridor that she was trying to get down.

The whole gang of them shrunk up against the wall, silent like first years should never be, as the girl stalked past them, before continuing to storm up the corridor at full pelt. As she turned the corner into the dorm, the younger girls looked to one another in puzzlement, some shrugging their shoulders, but all turning to Tara and Tania for information. It was well known that the two of them had long infiltrated the school and were the best and most likely sources of both information and gossip.

"Don't look at us!" The girls protested in perfect unison, "We don't know why she's acting like that."

The first years looked away shuffling there feet, and groaning with irritation, before one of the more courageous one's piped up, "You must have some idea! You've got the whole school bugged. There's nowhere that anyone can hide that you wouldn't know about…" She trailed off, instantly knowing she'd made a mistake.

Both of the twin's scowled for a couple od seconds before placing their hands on their hips and scowling deeply, "We don't know, okay?! Can't you…"

It was at that moment that the girls heard a door slam with such tremendous force that one or two of them thought it was an earthquake or that the building would fall down any second. It would seem that Kelly Jones was in a horrendous mood. And of course, that more than anything else piqued the interest of the first years who steadily migrated down the corridor until they were all outside of the head girl's room. What a racket came from inside! From what the girl's could tell Kelly was either starting an experimental percussion band, or simply destroying everything in her room. They suspected the second option. Of course, they would have peered through the keyhole into Kelly's room but, as Tania discovered when she tried to do as such, Kelly had placed a large strip of duct tape across the inside keyhole obscuring any possible view into her boudoir. There were suggestions from several of the first years of the window, but if Kelly had bothered to tape over a keyhole, undoubtedly she would have closed the curtains too. The final suggestion came from the same girl who had challenged the twins earlier. Why not get the key and open the door?

"Because, stupid, if she's smashing up her room then imagine what she'd do to a bunch of silly little first years who got in her way. Idiots" snarled Taylor, as she walked past, and was instantly surrounded by first years wanting to know what was going on with Kelly. Eventually the girl just waved her hands above her head in desperation until the younger girls feel silent, or at least, as close to silent as St Trinian's girls got. It was only then that Taylor attempted to explain what on earth was going on with the schools head girl.

"There's nothing wrong with Kel, okay!? She's just a bit tired and stressed out right now, and she doesn't need you lot spying on her. So scoot."

Taylor slumped slightly against Kelly's door as the first years obeyed her command. Truth was she'd had no idea that there was anything wrong with Kelly, and if there was something wrong… well she had no idea what it could be.

And behind that door, Kelly Jones sat in a wreck of a room in tears again.


End file.
